🔗 Share this article

Commonplace Lavatory Laughs

Restroom comedy has traditionally served as the reliable retreat of your Daily, and writers stay alert of notable bog-related stories and milestones, particularly within football. It was quite amusing to discover that a prominent writer a well-known presenter owns a West Bromwich Albion-inspired toilet at his home. Reflect for a moment for the Barnsley fan who interpreted the restroom somewhat too seriously, and was rescued from a deserted Oakwell after falling asleep on the loo midway through a 2015 losing match by Fleetwood. “His footwear was missing and misplaced his cellphone and his hat,” elaborated an official from the local fire department. And who can forget at the pinnacle of his career with Manchester City, Mario Balotelli visited a nearby college to access the restrooms in 2012. “He left his Bentley parked outside, then entered and inquired the location of the toilets, subsequently he entered the faculty room,” a student told the Manchester Evening News. “Later he simply strolled round the campus as if he owned it.”

The Restroom Quitting

Tuesday marks 25 years to the day that Kevin Keegan resigned as the England coach post a quick discussion in a toilet cubicle alongside FA executive David Davies in the underground areas of Wembley, subsequent to the memorable 1-0 setback by Germany in 2000 – the Three Lions' last game at the famous old stadium. As Davies recalls in his journal, FA Confidential, he stepped into the wet struggling national team changing area immediately after the match, discovering David Beckham crying and Tony Adams energized, the two stars urging for the director to convince Keegan. Subsequent to Hamann's direct free-kick, Keegan moved wearily along the passageway with a thousand-yard stare, and Davies found him slumped – similar to his Anfield posture in 1996 – in the dressing room corner, saying quietly: “I’m off. I’m not for this.” Stopping Keegan, Davies worked frantically to salvage the situation.

“Where could we possibly locate for confidential discussion?” recalled Davies. “The tunnel? Crawling with television reporters. The dressing room? Heaving with emotional players. The bathing section? I couldn't conduct an important discussion with the team manager as squad members entered the baths. Merely one possibility emerged. The restroom stalls. A significant event in English football's extensive history took place in the vintage restrooms of a stadium facing demolition. The approaching dismantling was nearly palpable. Leading Kevin into a compartment, I secured the door behind us. We remained standing, looking at each other. ‘You can’t change my mind,’ Kevin said. ‘I'm gone. I'm not suitable. I'll inform the media that I'm not adequate. I cannot inspire the squad. I can’t get the extra bit out of these players that I need.’”

The Aftermath

And so, Keegan resigned, subsequently confessing he considered his period as Three Lions boss “without spirit”. The two-time European Footballer of the Year stated: “I struggled to occupy my time. I found myself going and training the blind team, the hearing-impaired team, supporting the female team. It's an extremely challenging position.” English football has come a long way over the past twenty-five years. Regardless of improvement or decline, those Wembley restrooms and those twin towers are long gone, although a German now works in the coaching zone Keegan formerly inhabited. Thomas Tuchel’s side are among the favourites for next year’s Geopolitics World Cup: Three Lions supporters, appreciate this period. This exact remembrance from a low point in English football serves as a recall that situations weren't always this good.

Live Updates

Follow Luke McLaughlin at 8pm UK time for Women's major tournament coverage regarding Arsenal versus Lyon.

Quote of the Day

“We remained in an extended queue, in just our underwear. We were Europe’s best referees, premier athletes, inspirations, mature people, mothers and fathers, resilient characters with high morals … yet nobody spoke. We barely looked at each other, our eyes shifted somewhat anxiously when we were requested to advance in couples. There Collina observed us from top to bottom with an ice-cold gaze. Quiet and watchful” – previous global referee Jonas Eriksson reveals the humiliating procedures referees were previously subjected to by former Uefa head of referees Pierluigi Collina.

Daily Football Correspondence

“What’s in a name? There’s a poem by Dr Seuss titled ‘Too Many Daves’. Has Blackpool experienced Excessive Steves? Steve Bruce, together with staff Steve Agnew and Steve Clemence have been dismissed through the exit. Is this the termination of the Steve fascination? Not exactly! Steve Banks and Steve Dobbie stay to manage the main squad. Complete Steve forward!” – John Myles

“Now that you've relaxed spending restrictions and distributed some merchandise, I've opted to write and share a brief observation. Postecoglou mentions he initiated altercations in the schoolyard with youngsters he expected would overpower him. This masochistic tendency must account for his decision to join Nottingham Forest. As a lifelong Spurs supporter I'll remain thankful for the second-year silverware yet the only follow-up season honor I predict him achieving along the Trent, should he survive that period, is the second tier and that would be a significant battle {under the present owner” – Stewart McGuinness.|